Notice: Please Stop Mailing Me Golf Balls

I have been receiving an inordinate number of golf balls through the post recently. I briefly sought to reduce the barrage by nailing my mailbox shut, but found that this only resulted in Russian mafiosos throwing them at my head as they drove by shouting “Сука блят!!” which I assume means something like ‘here are more golf balls’.

Сука блят!!

-A Commy Gangster

So I have reopened my mailbox. I have attempted to contact Tiger Woods on the matter as I am told he is a manner of expert on the subject of golf balls, but I only managed to connect to the tiger cages at several notable zoos. Take note: there are several phone numbers which dial directly into cages containing tigers. Isn’t that weird? Why do they need that?

In closing, this is not a test post that I am using to test my website’s functionality, this is all absolute fact. Thank you.

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