Amateur: Dangerous

I'm already into the beta of Star Citizen, and now I'm looking into Elite: Dangerous. I really like the idea of an unrestricted universe in which I can take my spaceship wherever I want. It's what I've always wanted in real life; it's what I still want. I want a spaceship. Anyway, both of those games have made it absolutely clear that, even if I were to be transported into a world in which these ships were available, or even free, I would be pretty terrible at it. I'm really looking forward to No Man's Sky, because I think that'll be more my speed. I just... I just can't keep up with even the slightest learning curve.

Ice Cream is Dangerous

Weird, Again

Before the Weird Al show, we met at the town square, very close to our venue. Unfortunately, right after paying for our meal, our party was delayed by a veritable meteorological assault. I mean, wow. Wind and rain was in rare form as it trapped us in place. A car parked mere feet away was still a challenge to pile into without getting soaked. We managed to handle the situation, but arrived with about two minutes to showtime. After I collected our tickets, the ushers told us we couldn't go in, because Al himself would be entering right through this very door! Then they said it'd still be a minute, and we should go in. We ended up being directed to the wrong section and herded to an area where we were right next to him as he entered regardless. At every moment, there was at least one usher urging me to move and another forbidding me. It was pretty funny.

The show itself was great though. I didn't really know anything about his concerts, so the costumes and video integration were a surprise. The big screen showed clips from his other works while costume and set changes happened, and I was pleased to see an excerpt from Pinkie Pride's Super Duper Party Pony song. I'm really glad I got to catch him, and if I get the chance to do it again, I'll definitely buy tickets earlier. We were as far back as you can be, but it was still great. Except when I tried to take just one picture (I wasn't that guy, I swear), and somehow my flash was on. I have that thing disabled on purpose, I don't know how I let that happen. Oh well.

I guess he has a band that travels with him, he should refer to his act on the road as "Weird Al et al." That would be cool.

Al’s Skills

Al achieved proficient skills in several areas, here are just a few of them. Weird is an obvious one, which he clearly demonstrated with his Perform this Way costume. His new stuff from the Mandatory Fun album was solid, and the nostalgic tracks from old albums hit home. He lacked unnecessary graphs, though.


I’m going to see Weird Al tonight, part of his ‘Mandatory Fun’ tour is taking him to BG’s new SKyPAC theater. So it got me wondering, when did he land on the name ‘Weird Al’? I could maybe learn something about this by googling it but instead I will speculate wildly.

Long ago, Alphonse was picked on a great deal, and the kids called him that name. He wasn’t a kid, it wasn’t that long ago. This was like, in his early twenties. The name was simply Weird Al because children are dumb. I mean, you think I’m dumb, try talking to a child. So ol’ Albert eventually gets an act together, a persona, or maybe he’s just like that, and he gets picked up by that funny little man who was caught in a bear trap according to his autobiographical song, and now he needs a name.

I posit that he immediately went with Weird Al because it was all he could think of. I assume this because I can think of loads of stuff easy. Like, AbnormAl, and UnusuAl. You may think those are stupid names, and you may think I’m stupid, and you’d be right on both counts, but they’re the kind of name that seem clever at first, you know? If you could evaluate the name Weird Al without the success it achieved, you’d… well you’d still think it was a better name, but only if you thought about it for a while I think. I bet anyone would pick UnusuAl before that, if they thought of it, because even though it’s not better, it’s weirder. Which is, I’m pretty sure, the theme here.

So why did he pick Weird Al? Well, it’s because of those damned kids. And by now he’s thought of the other names, and he’s thought of how they might have seemed cool but would ultimately be pretty dumb, so Alfred looks back at those mean kids who threw eggs at him (I’m assuming that, too) and he thinks, ‘thanks, dumb kids.’

MusicAl, see, there’s another one.

Trivia Night

Dan and I first got into trivia night when it was Tuesday at Mellow Mushroom. They’re still running it, though we’ve kind of shied away from that one. Tougher crowd, fewer and lesser prizes. What we really got into was when 643 started doing it. We did well there. They offered prizes down to third place, and a higher prize to first and second. They also had wings for half-off on trivia night. Well, they did at first, anyway, they moved trivia to another night. So when 643 closed it really upset us. You can learn more on the status of 643 by researching another restaurant that was closed in the same building under the same circumstances, Mariah’s.

So now our mainstay is Overtime, which is alright, except trivia there is run by some guy from a group that runs other trivia places, and, well, he’s alright I guess, but we finally got around to winning, right? We’re in first place, he asks the final question, we bet everything, so there, we win. That’s how the game works. But everyone got the final question right. He thinks that nullifies the part where he said ‘final’ in ‘final question’. So he asks another, and, you know, we’re dumb, so we don’t know the answer. It was something about the supreme court. When do appointments to the court go into effect. So someone else in the crowd is either a Supreme Court clerk or lucky or owns a cell phone but not dignity, and they get it and vault ahead of us, who got it wrong (though we wagered no points). So he gives us second place and is otherwise unresponsive to complaint.

I think Dan called his boss or something, but the results of that were to be determined at the next trivia night, for which I was out of town and Dan flaked as is his wont. Parker probably missed it, too, but he wasn’t there on the night we were so unjustly disgraced, so I don’t think it would have mattered if he showed. In about 15 minutes here I’ma go to trivia again, and wish it was 643. Wish me luck.

Matt Damon

The following shall be a treatise on why Matt Damon is the best. Just all-around, the absolute best.

I don’t know what a treatise is so we’re gonna go ahead and jump right into the bulleted list:

  • Good Will Hunting is actually a biographical film about MD’s early days
  • The Bourne Identity is actually a biographical film about MD’s later days
  • Matt Damon has a really cool name. Really. Just say it.
  • He is the opposite of bad
  • One time Matt Damon saved me from a burning bus in a dream I had
  • Matt Damon Craft is the greatest resource pack ever
  • He is the official mascot of SpinalCraft
  • He goes to space regularly and only fucks it up sometimes. I mean, could you do better?

In conclusion, Matt Damon.


One time I saved fanboat from a burning bus in his dream, and I was in Interstellar. Sometimes I confuse myself with Mark Wahlberg but that’s okay.