I’m going to see Weird Al tonight, part of his ‘Mandatory Fun’ tour is taking him to BG’s new SKyPAC theater. So it got me wondering, when did he land on the name ‘Weird Al’? I could maybe learn something about this by googling it but instead I will speculate wildly.

Long ago, Alphonse was picked on a great deal, and the kids called him that name. He wasn’t a kid, it wasn’t that long ago. This was like, in his early twenties. The name was simply Weird Al because children are dumb. I mean, you think I’m dumb, try talking to a child. So ol’ Albert eventually gets an act together, a persona, or maybe he’s just like that, and he gets picked up by that funny little man who was caught in a bear trap according to his autobiographical song, and now he needs a name.

I posit that he immediately went with Weird Al because it was all he could think of. I assume this because I can think of loads of stuff easy. Like, AbnormAl, and UnusuAl. You may think those are stupid names, and you may think I’m stupid, and you’d be right on both counts, but they’re the kind of name that seem clever at first, you know? If you could evaluate the name Weird Al without the success it achieved, you’d… well you’d still think it was a better name, but only if you thought about it for a while I think. I bet anyone would pick UnusuAl before that, if they thought of it, because even though it’s not better, it’s weirder. Which is, I’m pretty sure, the theme here.

So why did he pick Weird Al? Well, it’s because of those damned kids. And by now he’s thought of the other names, and he’s thought of how they might have seemed cool but would ultimately be pretty dumb, so Alfred looks back at those mean kids who threw eggs at him (I’m assuming that, too) and he thinks, ‘thanks, dumb kids.’

MusicAl, see, there’s another one.

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